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Why Loved Ones Aren’t Coming Through

Have you had a reading with a medium where the loved one you were seeking didn’t come through? Are you a medium who can’t get your own loved ones to step forward? What’s the deal here? Why aren’t your deceased loved ones coming through?

Mediums and people who seek mediums generally have something in common. They have had a very emotional experience that has triggered something inside of them. For mediums, that experience may have been a trigger to the reopening of their gifts. For the seekers of mediums a loved one may have passed and now they are seeking a connection to them. For me, it was both.Something in my life triggered me to both seek out a medium and forced my gifts to resurface.

My first REAL reading was a great one! It opened so many doors, validated so many experiences, and without it I wouldn’t be here today. I didn’t go to the reading looking for any of that though. I went to the session looking to hear from my grandfather.

The message that I received regarding my grandfather certainly wasn’t the one I was hoping to hear. My grandfather did show up, but only to show the medium that he was in the dark. He told her he was feeling lost and a bit confused.

I was so worried for him and so confused. He lead a good life, was loved by many, and had little to regret. Why would he be alone and in the dark?

Well, he had just passed a week prior, that’s why.

The Transitional Period.

Back then I didn’t realize that there was a “transitional phase” and I certainly didn’t understand it. Now I know that when we pass, we need a bit of time to acclimate to our spirit body.

This may be shocking to some as most of us are brought up believing that we either go to heaven or hell and it happens immediately upon death.

What actually happens is when the spirit leaves the body it generally has some things it needs to do. Things it needs to take care of. These things many include…

  1. Saying goodbye to someone they didn’t get to say goodbye to.

  2. Attending their own funeral.

  3. Helping their loved ones take care of their arrangements by giving them clues about missing keys or documents.

  4. Healing a bit of karma.

  5. Letting their loved ones know they are ok.

They do these things pretty quickly after passing because once in the transitional process they are generally unable to visit for a bit. The transitional phase is a time for them to get acclimated to their new spirit body and learn how to come and go for visitation purposes. This is also a time for life reviews and counseling.

So if you ever hear that your loved one is transitioning, don’t fret! Nothing is wrong and it’s a normal part of the process! Remember that if you try to connect with them too quickly after passing they may not have the tools to do so!

The Guilt Factor

Another big factor that may be holding them back from visiting is their own guilt towards themselves. Maybe the person you are trying to connect to treated you badly or perhaps they passed because of their own causes. In situations like this, they may be too ashamed to talk to you at first.

Generally, with some coaxing, you can get them to step forward but not always.

They may have some karmic issues to figure out and some healing to do before they can visit you. Remember, this generally has nothing to do with you so please do not feel bad or wonder if it’s you! The spirit will come when they are ready.

Someone else needs them more right now

Though a spirit can be in different places at different times (because they are energy) if you don’t need them right now and someone else does. chances are that is why they aren’t coming through.

Let’s say you lost your mother and you’ve healed and accepted her passing but of course you still miss her. Your brother, on the other hand, has been on a downward spiral since her passing and could really use some uplifting. Even though she is in spirit, your mother knows this.

She may be giving him all of her energy right now. Visiting his dreams and giving him as many signs as she can at the moment to help him. This doesn’ mean she loves you any less, this just means she trusts you and knows you’ve got this. As hard as it is, think of it as a compliment in this way!

You’re stuck somewhere in the grieving process

I don’t know that we ever stop mourning the loss of a loved one. There is a difference, however, between mourning them in a healthy way and getting stuck in one or all of the 5 stages of grief.

Sometimes if we are too reliant on our loved ones in spirit they will recognize this. In some cases, they actually will back off until we are ready to communicate with them in a healthy way.

We have to accept their passing before they can visit us. They do not do this as punishment but rather to help us heal. This shows us that we do in fact, have the capability to stand on our own two feet.

For the longest time, my mother couldn’t even have a normal conversation about my grandparents. She didn’t want to talk about them because it was too hard. Anytime I brought up a funny memory of them or a dream I had she would quickly change the subject,

I told her what I’m telling you now and a few months later she had her first visitation dream from my grandfather! (3 years after his passing)

She is still grieving but has finally accepted that he’s gone. Since then she has seemed much happier and I even notice her talking about him more!

To recap, here are a few reasons why a loved one may not be coming through…

  1. They may be going through a transitional phase…moving up, life review, counseling etc.

  2. They may be acclimating still.

  3. They may not know how to communicate with you yet – ask them specifically for a sign.

  4. You may not have accepted their death.

  5. They are giving all of their energy to someone who needs it. They know you are ok – take this as a compliment.

So whether you’re in the midst of giving a reading or you’re trying to connect on your own, remember there are a few different reasons why a loved one may not be coming through. Recognize this and maybe it can help give you the tools you need for next time!

Sending love, Ashley

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