Mom guilt is a bitch
My website is all about spirituality and intuitive growth. It is also about aligning with the most authentic and best version of yourself at all times. If you read this article however, you know that being spiritual doesn’t mean being happy and positive all the time. It’s more about learning to be self-aware, in-tune to your own vibration, and the energy around you. That being said sometimes I am aware that I am trying my best but I don’t feel like I’m giving my best.
“But aren’t you like a spiritual coach? Shouldn’t you be positive and have it all together?”
I am a spiritual coach, life-coach, intuitive development teacher, medium, and healer. I am also a human, a mother, a wife, a business owner, and sometimes, I am a mess.
On here I get to share my thoughts, insights, and help people to heal through our connection to spirit. At home, I am balancing motherhood, with wife-life, and owning a business. Let me tell ya, that sh*t gets hard sometimes.
Part of being self-aware means being honest with yourself. That means, being real about your feelings and where you’re at emotionally. Not so that you can beat yourself up about it but so that you can acknowledge where you are, sit with it, breathe it in, and begin healing it.
That being said, mom guilt is a bitch.
There never seems to be enough time in the day. I don’t care if you’re a stay at home mom, a full-time working mom, or a work from home mom. In whatever capacity you “mom”, you know the mom guilt.
You need balance so you try to find time for yourself… but people need you. You neglect your “me” time and then you feel guilty that you’ve let yourself or your spiritual practice down.
You work from home so that you can spend more time with the kids but you find yourself with what feels like less time than ever. Less time being present for family and less time being present for work. Let’s be honest, sometimes it’s hard to separate the two.
Your relationship needs attention, the house needs cleaning, and the kids want to play. You have a list of 10 million work tasks to complete but you are effing exhausted. It feels like no one gets the full extent of what they need. This leaves you feeling guilty.
I get it, mama, it’s never-ending. There is always something to be done, someone who needs you, something to be cleaned. All of these things are blessings but sometimes they just feel like bricks.
Where did YOU go? Did you lose yourself in trying to be everything for everyone else? Did you plan a date with yourself only to have life’s demands get in the way? Where are YOU?
I’m going to be completely open about my own mom guilt…
Some mornings I try so hard to write emails and get little tasks done early to set myself up for success during the day. When I make the decision to get the laptop out my son is occupied and content.
When he sees the laptop he suddenly needs 5 snacks, can’t find something, or “has nobody to play with.” It’s like the laptop is a magnet for him to suddenly need everything from me and all at once.
He tries to climb in my lap and has 5000 questions. I find myself trying to make room for him but getting internally frustrated at the same time.
In the past, I begged for these mornings. I begged for more time with him. I begged spirit to let me work from home.
I realize after 10 minutes of rewriting the same sentence over and over that I’m ready for him to go to school just so I can just get some work done.
Mom guilt is a bitch.
By the end of the day, I miss him so bad. All I want is to hold him and play with him. Sometimes when I look at him I want to cry because his sweet face is just the best. How could I get frustrated with him? He’s only 3 and I will never get these times back.
Now he wants to play but I’m so exhausted that I can hardly move. Can’t we just color or something relaxing?
Mom guilt is a bitch.
Some days I have a million things to do; articles to submit, and emails to write. I know that if these things don’t get done then I will be letting myself and my community down. I also know that if I don’t spend 30 minutes snuggling with my little one and playing “monster” for the 5th time in a day I’m going to regret it and let both of us down.
Mom guilt is a bitch.
Sometimes I think I get to escape to the gym by myself and then the little one wants to tag along. I am disappointed, I needed that “me” time because after the gym I need to get back to work.
Then I realize, my little one needs that time with me because after the gym, I need to get back to work.
It’s wanting to clone yourself so that you can enjoy every aspect of life while also getting everything done.
Mom guilt is wanting to squeeze your little one so tight and never let them go while also wanting time alone.
It’s missing your husband terribly though he is sitting right next to you.
It’s wanting to stay up late to get more done so you have more time tomorrow to play tomorrow. But it’s also not having the energy to move a muscle.
We are so hard on ourselves and we put so many heavy expectations on ourselves each and every day. We don’t give ourselves nearly enough credit. Life is busy, it’s messy, and it can certainly be challenging but all we can do is our best.
I know you’re tired mama and I know that you need to breathe. I also know that you won’t because little people need you. Big people need you. Both work and life, they need you.
Look in the mirror and see yourself. See how strong you are! See that even if work didn’t get completed or the dishes didn’t get done, everyone is still breathing.
Know that it’s ok to be tired and it’s ok to ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone, you’re meant to be living life not just getting through it.
See yourself and be kind to yourself.
Most of all, fu*king forgive yourself because you are one person. You deserve to fill yourself up. You deserve to have 15 minutes to yourself a day and you are doing your best.
Notice yourself! Acknowledge your feelings and why you’re having them. Give yourself a pat on the back because you deserve it. There isn’t enough of you to go around some days so why not practice just being present instead? Return to you, return to center. Remember, the more you rush the less time you have!
Mom guilt is a bitch, but you’re the queen baby! Don’t let it get the best of you!
This article is of course for the dads, aunt’s, uncles, grandparents, brothers, sisters, etc… all of those doing their best to give everyone their best each and every day! YOU ARE ENOUGH!